How to Choose a Wonderful Goal
This blog continues examining the differences between a congruent goal and the ones that we choose for the wrong reasons. My book Get Lucky Now! is about how to get what you want the easy way. Setting the right type of goals is the foundation that everything else is built upon. This blog continues the series of excerpts from Get Lucky Now.
Goals are critical. If you do not know where you are going, then any road will take you there; it will be a long journey, and it may not be a happy one. The shortest route lies in choosing the correct goal.
It’s Not About What Others Think You Should Do
Ideally, you should have one overarching goal in life. I suggest that you take some time before deciding what this might be. It is very easy to think of an impressive goal. But is it the correct one? Is it something you want to achieve, or something that your parents, teachers, or friends have recommended? Is it a goal that society regards as worthy, rather than something you have always wanted to do?
Motivational guru Tony Robbins gives a stark and somewhat nihilistic message of the dangers that haunt the unwary:
“You will become by and large what your friends expect you to become.”
This might feel like the easier path—to conform to others’ expectations of you. But we know on the inside when something is missing. In time, this feeling builds dissatisfaction and even stress. Nothing clouds your judgment and performance more certainly than stress, especially if it is prolonged.
As mentioned previously, you can only develop your goals with confidence when you have a deep understanding of yourself, your values, and your beliefs. This series of posts will provide helpful tips to nudge you a little further along your path of self-awareness.
Follow the Money
Perhaps you, like many people, are not sure what your wonderful goal might be. When people follow their passion, they are rarely disappointed. How do you spend your money at present, after having paid all the bills? If your credit-card statement reveals more bills for surfboards and accessories than anything else, then does this perhaps suggest a career in surfing or another sport?
How do you spend your free time? What activity makes time fly, fills you with deep contentment either during or after, and, in a humble and grounded way, lets you know that this is something you are rather good at?
If you are still struggling to identify what makes you happy and how are you would like to spend the rest of your life, you might like to try this simple exercise.
I hope that you are happy and healthy right now. I normally encourage only positive thoughts, but there is always an exception to every rule. This is it.
Getting Real
Spend just a few moments imagining how you would feel if you had just been told that you only had six more months to live. How would you use this time? What would you do differently? What would each day look and feel like?
Now readjust yourself to your present situation. Are any of the changes you considered just a few moments ago still appropriate? If so, what would it take to make them possible? Is it possible that from your reflection you can find the inspiration that Churchill describes?
“We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival.”
I hope you now have an outline picture in your mind about what you wish to achieve. Mark Twain understood the importance of self-knowledge and often observed lack of clarity among his circle of acquaintances when he said,
“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.”
After you have read this series of posts, you will have a clearer picture of what you want, more ideas on how to achieve it, and the tools to make it easier than you dreamed.
You will also have a clearer idea of what you really want, a lot more ideas about how to achieve your goals, and the tools to make it so much easier than you dreamed.
You Lucky Person!
Setting authentic goals is one of the techniques included in my NLP coaching programs.
In the next blog we will discover how to convert your mono dimensional goal to a multi dimensional work of creativity that creates a self-fulfilling life for itself.
